So what exactly does self-worth mean? According to the online dictionary it states it is “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.” Then goes into also known as self-esteem & self-respect, this is further discussed below.
However, there are many ways for a person to value themselves and assess their worth as a human being. We also look at how this helps us spiritually evolve as a soul having a human experience.
My main focus is to firstly compare and contrast the meaning of self-worth versus self-esteem, and secondly discuss the value of true self-worth, the building blocks for self-worth, why so many of us lack a feeling of worthiness (Shadow & Self-Esteem), how building self-worth helps us spiritually evolve as a soul having a human experience and lastly, how this is related to our Heart Chakra.
Self-Worth is based on valuing your own natural and innate worth as a person or human being, versus Self-Esteem, which is based on where one measures themselves based against other external factors.
Self-Esteem is not a positive affirmation at all and this is why I never use this word because one, it sets a certain expectation upon others and two this is also setting the bar for another when there is no limitation to anything. Example, “build your self-esteem up” you are thinking up to what, because this means something tangible and an expectation.
Self-Esteem is part of the “BS” Belief Systems that places self-doubt in the mind of another, stating you are only special if you are above average based on whatever is trending at the time. So if you are building your self-worth and also using self-esteem as a model for you to go by, you will consistently be fighting a losing battle. In the meantime, your Soul and Self will be feeling depleted and unworthy, your energy of love and positivity drained, caught up in that fear based energy of delusional expectations. I mean seriously who wants to be here, yuk.
Not one person is ever meant to be the same.
Self-worth is based on loving you for who you already are, who you have become and your own innate authenticity. It isn’t about what you can become in the future it’s about who you have become and are today, that leads yourself to an even better you in the future. Always live in the present. Living in the past only brings up negative energy, i.e. “I wish I did this differently” and the future brings up fear, the fear of expectations of ones self, so always, always live in the present.
Self-esteem, if you think of fear, overwhelms one with negative energy such as stress, a need to perform and do something you just don’t feel pulled to do (forced), materialism expectations, approval from others instead of knowing the only approval or acceptance you need is by YOU. It also can make you angry, causing a lot of conflicts and therefore eating, drinking and use of drugs can come into play.
If you find yourself doing this, STOP it now, it won’t help you build your self-worth, it will help you destroy it, it isn’t worth the price of your own authenticity.
So this is the beginning of building our own self-worth is by taking out the measurement and comparison aspects.
This takes courage and isn’t it funny how we have already discussed the Solar Plexus the Seat of our own Power before the we work on Self-Worth and our Heart Chakra. The Universe is so clever. You need that new empowered energy that has filled up your Solar Plexus to give you courage to build your self-worth. This is the second building block of building self-worth.
In previous weeks we discussed Shadow. Your Shadow will whisper in your ear, “Yeah right, you can’t believe that” and a positive affirmation or response along the lines of the following will place it into check 😀
“OK I hear you and I acknowledge your feedback but here is the thing I am that I am, I am the Divine, I am Happiness, I am gratitude, I am Beautiful, I am worth and I am all that there is because I am Love.”
I have spoken on:
- Shadow (self-sabotaged side of ourselves) – we must master our shadow by allowing it to co-exist with us as we move forward, because we have a choice to do this now. No one can tell you what is authentic to you.
- Questioning one’s own self – If fear pops in then the reasoning or questioning behind the situation is not real. Fear doesn’t exist it is another form of resistance
- “BS” Belief Systems – Learned from when you could understand body or sign language to eventually hearing. You may be raised to believe certain aspects of society, culture and as a human being carried this as their “TRUTH” right through to adulthood and sometimes old age. The thing is that we all wanted to come and have a human experience, we signed our own contract, chose our own vessel, family and life to experience all challenges and blessings that come with it. We are then able to see that we are “AUTHENTIC” in our own belief systems and so we are allowed to express ourselves freely once we see our self-worth and not based on self-esteem where judgement is part of that process.
If you practice and take some time to understand the following you will start to ascertain your own self-worth:
- Be kind to yourself always. Practice self-compassion
- Wounds – We all have our own wounds and others will have different wounds whether physical or mental. I know we are human but sometimes this is a very important reminder to yourself that others do not understand the complexities of your life. Your wounds are a personal guidance for your life path, these experiences give you your own authenticity. Acknowledge it and go, “OK, I see how this has expanded and allowed me to grow to become the person I am today, to show compassion to myself and others.
- Curiosity – sometimes we leave this behind in our childhood and forget that curiosity is the fundamentals to experiencing life in all its essence and therefore the Self. Spending time on your own opens this part of ourselves and want to explore and become curious about what is around the corner or what would happen if or how exciting if. Engage yourself with your own company and this will evolve into acceptance of the self and love of the self and yes forgiveness of the self. Find your own happy places.
- There is a saying “your imperfections are perfect,” and yes they are. Your imperfections are trademarks of your own authenticity and that in itself is beauty. Imperfect can also be translated to I’m Perfect. My example of the most brilliant imperfection is a few bumps in the road on a highway which are smooth and allows me to have fun when going over the bumps, “imperfections have never been so perfect.”
- Place your hand on your heart and repeat the phrase, ‘dear one I am here for you.’
- Gratitude – Always live in gratitude. Gratitude opens ones heart fully. The more gratitude you show the more love comes, the heart opens more and more with this loving act.
- Enjoy time in nature and its natural beauty and energy that permeates the body and soul. Animals give us an amazing selfless act of love.
- Recognize and prioritize your own needs – It’s about doing what truly feels right for you
- To gain a true sense of your own self you must first, as we have discussed previously when healing our Sacral Chakra, let go of codependency. When you start to build your self-worth and self-love you will therefore become more grounded in your own true authentic self. You will see you no longer need to be codependent on anyone but your own self.
- Set loving boundaries for your own self, you will gain this strength as you build self-worth, you will determine what is good and isn’t good for you, whether you wish to see or not, it happens. As you love yourself the less you will tolerate such as mistreatment from others.
- Self-sabotage is when you feel unworthy of something, deep down this will happen, and you will sabotage or destroy that wonderful feeling of worthiness.
- Take accountability, choose to be accountable instead of being victimized. Ownership empowers you.
- Giving unconditional love and compassion without the depletion. Fill up your tank of love for yourself before giving to others. You might feel as though you have the capacity to love, but you are giving love from a place empty and not full of love, draining you further and causing exhaustion, blame, all emotions opposite to love. Fill up your love tank for the self.
Lastly, self-love is an unselfish act, no matter what anyone says to you. Self-Love is allowing yourself to connect to your innermost authenticity, your innermost needs, celebration of being you and not someone else, honoring who you truly are and dropping destructive behavioral patterns. Your soul came here to have an experience and to live in harmony with Earth and its inhabitants. When you have developed self-worth and self-love miracles truly take place as you live in a state of peace, love and happiness. Manifestations happen almost instantaneously, the soul is fulfilled and continues to push our boundaries in the direction of peace, love, happiness in general and of the self.
I believe in you.
Love, Light and Blessings